Monday 14 May 2012

Fearful and afraid

This few weeks is like walking through hell, having to face shits and act as if nothing is bothering me. I've never realise how fragile a human relationship could be. 'Trust takes years to build, seconds to break' How true..

A part of me no one could ever understand. No matter how much i said 'I'm used to it', it still hurts me badly.
All these years, the thing i thought i've sown, does it not meant anything anymore?  Every single day, i secretly wished that i don't have to wake up to the reality, i rather sleep in dreams and fantasy all day long.

This is just one of the things that have happened, and it could break all the feelings i tried to hide for so long. Yes, i'm insecure, and all the relationship which i thought could last forever became so blur. The people around me, will they leave me?


To some people, i might be exerggerating what has happen, but not to me. I just see the reality even more clearly.
I'm emotional and insecure. Each day i live, i try to hold on to every single thing i could grab but when i open up my hand, i realise it's not there anymore.

--
God, i need faith and peace. May Your peace fills my heart every single day where i could learn to trust once again.

[Edited]

Take my life


This is my devotion
This is all I know
This is all I have to bring
life laid down in worship
To honor You my King
I live to glorify Your Name

Now 
past is swept away
By the sacrifice You've made
I am Yours set my heart on fire for You


Take my life take it all I surrender heart and soul
From now on I live for You
Take my life take it all I surrender heart and soul
From now on I live for You only You

In every joy and heartbreak
In trial and temptation
Be the centre of my heart



'God, i commit all of me in exchange for all of You. Be the centre of my heart.'


Eternallovexx :)

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