Monday, 14 May 2012

Fearful and afraid

This few weeks is like walking through hell, having to face shits and act as if nothing is bothering me. I've never realise how fragile a human relationship could be. 'Trust takes years to build, seconds to break' How true..

A part of me no one could ever understand. No matter how much i said 'I'm used to it', it still hurts me badly.
All these years, the thing i thought i've sown, does it not meant anything anymore?  Every single day, i secretly wished that i don't have to wake up to the reality, i rather sleep in dreams and fantasy all day long.

This is just one of the things that have happened, and it could break all the feelings i tried to hide for so long. Yes, i'm insecure, and all the relationship which i thought could last forever became so blur. The people around me, will they leave me?


To some people, i might be exerggerating what has happen, but not to me. I just see the reality even more clearly.
I'm emotional and insecure. Each day i live, i try to hold on to every single thing i could grab but when i open up my hand, i realise it's not there anymore.

--
God, i need faith and peace. May Your peace fills my heart every single day where i could learn to trust once again.

[Edited]

Take my life


This is my devotion
This is all I know
This is all I have to bring
life laid down in worship
To honor You my King
I live to glorify Your Name

Now 
past is swept away
By the sacrifice You've made
I am Yours set my heart on fire for You


Take my life take it all I surrender heart and soul
From now on I live for You
Take my life take it all I surrender heart and soul
From now on I live for You only You

In every joy and heartbreak
In trial and temptation
Be the centre of my heart



'God, i commit all of me in exchange for all of You. Be the centre of my heart.'


Eternallovexx :)

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